Well, back from the doc's - a depressing wait in the surgery for half an hour to be told that I'm going to be referred to a specialist as expected. The GP didn't seem to think I'm at death's door quite yet in fact he seemed quite blase.. I came away feeling, not exactly hopeful, but certainly not as depressed as yesterday. That got me wondering how it is that I can have had two such different days - yesterday I felt quite spacey, disconnected somehow, wandering round PCWorld looking at laptops thinking 'suppose I'm not here this time next year?' It all seemd so pointless somehow. And then today, going into work as normal, having slept quite well, realising that the only difference is the perception - one hopeless and one hopeful. Thus proving once more that not only do beliefs create reality but you can alter the way you feel about things by thinking better thoughts...
So today, determined that I am going to heal and use this as a message rather than a death sentence, I said to a friend 'I want to live to be 100' and I truly do. I want to see old age, in wisdom and health rather than infirmity. One of the best books I've read recently 'Love and Survival' by Dean Ornish, talks about those people who see themselves as reaching 100 as being the ones most likely to achieve it in health. According to him when he asks that question to audiences only about 10% of people usually put their hands up. Unfortunately too many people see ageing as being equated with illness and then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If this culture supported age as being a positive rather than a negative experience we would celebrate our elders rather than depositing them in old age homes to wither and die. Anyway, that's all for now folks. I hope to reveal a happy, healthy and whole me over many years to come.
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