2 main stories in the news this morning highlight the huge differences in the way mental health is treated compared to physical health in the Western Medical model.
The first concerns the German co-pilot Andreas Lubitz who deliberately crashed a plane with 150 people on board. He apparently saw over 40 doctors in the two years leading to the crash, with clearly no-one able to help him. It is a sad testament to medicine that we fail someone who so clearly was crying out for help. We may have saved so many lives if he had been...
The second story is about how the NHS treats mental health with the story that A&E staff are failing to treat and condemning people who harm themselves. I can understand this as in the past I would have been the same. But after training in trauma therapy extensively I now recognise the drivers of cutting and self-harming acts - and why people are driven to do them. They are calming for people whose nervous systems are so geared to threat that cutting actually down-regulates (reduces) that threat by changing the hormone system balance. Most 'normal' people find that hard to understand (though we regularly engage in similar but less violent acts of numbing like shopping, drinking, TV watching, perfectionism and over-work). It just seems that our ignorance is costing lives as when the people who should know about this i.e professional health care workers, do not and treat people as time-wasters and malingerers.
http://www.theguardian.com/society/2015/jun/12/ae-staff-attitudes-to-patients-in-mental-health-crisis-often-shocking
Mental health is woefully underfunded and ignored. Where provision is provided it is patchy and far too often relies on inadequate pseudo-diagnostic criteria like ADHD and now a whole raft of new disorders based on certain displayed character traits (see the latest psychiatrists' manual the DSM-V for the full horror of these unproven, poorly researched 'diseases'). These categories tell us nothing about what is going on for the person with these symptoms - they are based on a system that rewards a diagnosis with insurance payout. They have nothing to do with what is really behind themMost of the problems we see in Western society are a result of spiritual disconnection, nutritional depletion and a poor understanding of how memory and trauma are encoded and treated.
As I meet more and more ordinary people who exhibit signs of mental distress - and these are the functioning ones, I begin to see this is the tip of the iceberg. We are so far from living health, joyful lives and our culture encourages disconnection via envy, money grabbing, celebrity culture, etc. We need to recognise we all need love and connection, and that includes self-love as well as that from others. We need to be recognised above all, for who we are as individuals and have loving, supporting relationships. This cannot be prescribed unfortunately, but when someone falls out of their ability to cope as many do, they need a caring and understanding health service that offers more than crisis support. The model of trauma resolution that I use allows people to recognise that their symptoms are a desperate attempt by the mindbody to keep them safe, even though it has become untenable in their adult lives it needs to be acknowledges where they have been, and how strong they are to have survived. We need to promote understanding of the inherent goodness and healing ability of people, not treat them as abhorrent weaklings whose problems need to be dismissed, medicated and covered up. There are answers out there, there are amazing new treatments not yet available on the NHS but they all require a totally new approach to health and healing which is self-acknowledging and driven. I look forward to the day when suffering such as this is a thing of the past.
travels through holistic health, wellbeing and hypnotherapy
Friday, 12 June 2015
Thursday, 16 April 2015
Why is nutrition considered 'alternative medicine'?
Watched the first of this BBC series last night on I-player.
It looks at the range of private medicine on offer in Harley Street. It was interesting watching the doctors justifying working privately (some of them worked in the NHS and all of them were trained there). I have no problem with private medicine per se - it's that the standards are so much higher but it's not available for all. The same problem with private education of course.
My main issue though was with the fact that despite mentioning the large numbers of alternative practitioners who work in Harley street the programme failed to highlight any of them and instead focussed on the same narrow 'conventional' medical treatment plans including a lot of high tech chemotherapy and surgical interventions. And all were male interestingly.
It's the same old same old as far as I'm concerned.. no mention of what any of these people could do to help their treatment with lifestyle and diet changes, no mention of stress or inflammation as contributors to the conditions shown. All seemed to believe in the magic bullet approach. One woman, who had underdone chemo and a lumpectomy was told 'that's all the cancer out of your body - you are now cancer-free!' Which of course was very emotional for her as she'd gone through months of hell with losing her hair and all the worry and fear of cancer. It seems churlish to point out that there is always cancer in your body, but a healthy immune system keeps it in check. There was no attempt to give her any advice on nutritional changes she could make to make sure it stayed that way. And her family's response was quite dysfunctional - as a student psychologist I looked on in incredulity as they seemed to depend on her to stay well, clinging on to the notion of her survival like it was their life that was at stake. There's a story in that family of previous trauma for sure..
One lad came from Kuwait to be told he had a pituitary tumour that was threatening to take away his sight. No comment on the fact he was obese and needed to look at the role of excess weight in causing cancer. Surgery was the only thing on offer.
It was all so depressing.. I DO have a lot of respect for the skill of the surgeons and the wonderful technology that we now have at our disposal (if we have the money it seems). Also, I understand people want to have their pain taken away. But our approach now in the west is so disempowering of the individual. It takes away everything that we can do to help ourselves. And it makes vast profits for the biomedical industry it supports.
Why oh why is something as basic as nutrition considered alternative? It makes no sense to me.
Just yesterday I was advising a client on dietary changes she can make to help her acid reflux. Very common in women, particularly over the age of 50 as the hydrochloric acid in your stomach decreases which opens up the valve to the oesophagus causing reflux, amongst other things. The problem usually isn't too much acid as you will be told by the doctor. It's the opposite. I recommend this article to read on the subject by the reliably good and evidence-based Doctor Mercola. So, you end up being prescribed drugs that reduce your HCl further and... hey presto.. it get's worse.. It beggars belief really. Anyhow if any of you out there in bloggerville are interested then please see my links and my website (and social media links). I try to keep it positive, but sometimes.. Grrrrr...
There I've finished now.
It looks at the range of private medicine on offer in Harley Street. It was interesting watching the doctors justifying working privately (some of them worked in the NHS and all of them were trained there). I have no problem with private medicine per se - it's that the standards are so much higher but it's not available for all. The same problem with private education of course.
My main issue though was with the fact that despite mentioning the large numbers of alternative practitioners who work in Harley street the programme failed to highlight any of them and instead focussed on the same narrow 'conventional' medical treatment plans including a lot of high tech chemotherapy and surgical interventions. And all were male interestingly.
It's the same old same old as far as I'm concerned.. no mention of what any of these people could do to help their treatment with lifestyle and diet changes, no mention of stress or inflammation as contributors to the conditions shown. All seemed to believe in the magic bullet approach. One woman, who had underdone chemo and a lumpectomy was told 'that's all the cancer out of your body - you are now cancer-free!' Which of course was very emotional for her as she'd gone through months of hell with losing her hair and all the worry and fear of cancer. It seems churlish to point out that there is always cancer in your body, but a healthy immune system keeps it in check. There was no attempt to give her any advice on nutritional changes she could make to make sure it stayed that way. And her family's response was quite dysfunctional - as a student psychologist I looked on in incredulity as they seemed to depend on her to stay well, clinging on to the notion of her survival like it was their life that was at stake. There's a story in that family of previous trauma for sure..
One lad came from Kuwait to be told he had a pituitary tumour that was threatening to take away his sight. No comment on the fact he was obese and needed to look at the role of excess weight in causing cancer. Surgery was the only thing on offer.
It was all so depressing.. I DO have a lot of respect for the skill of the surgeons and the wonderful technology that we now have at our disposal (if we have the money it seems). Also, I understand people want to have their pain taken away. But our approach now in the west is so disempowering of the individual. It takes away everything that we can do to help ourselves. And it makes vast profits for the biomedical industry it supports.
Why oh why is something as basic as nutrition considered alternative? It makes no sense to me.
Just yesterday I was advising a client on dietary changes she can make to help her acid reflux. Very common in women, particularly over the age of 50 as the hydrochloric acid in your stomach decreases which opens up the valve to the oesophagus causing reflux, amongst other things. The problem usually isn't too much acid as you will be told by the doctor. It's the opposite. I recommend this article to read on the subject by the reliably good and evidence-based Doctor Mercola. So, you end up being prescribed drugs that reduce your HCl further and... hey presto.. it get's worse.. It beggars belief really. Anyhow if any of you out there in bloggerville are interested then please see my links and my website (and social media links). I try to keep it positive, but sometimes.. Grrrrr...
There I've finished now.
Tuesday, 14 April 2015
Perpetual student of wellbeing
Well I said 2014 would be the year of consolidation in my life: i.e.I would do no more courses for a while and concentrate on building my business. This has happened but I must be honest and say I haven't given up studying completely. I have been doing a trauma treatment course by Dr Janina Fisher which looks at various models of trauma and how to overcome it. It's monthly by webinar and has been very instructive as the other students seem to be mostly psychologists and have a particular language and terminology that I don't always follow (not having studied psychology formally at university). But I have begun to pick up some useful tips about operating within the 'window of tolerance' with neither hyper or hypoarousal and thus being able to function well in the world which is the goal of every person but sometimes goes awry in children subject to relational (and other) trauma
I am also looking at Shame and Vulnerability by doing a self-study course with my favourite shame researcher (are there others??) Brene Brown. She runs a video based course here
I am, as you see, a perpetual student.
But finally 2015 has come around and I wish to increase my credibility with my clients by obtaining a PhD. This isn't an easy task as you might guess as the area I am working in is not that common and my approach is not strictly psychological or medical. I am instead in the 'no-man's land' of being in a holistic field which rigidly defends its position as being research-based and yet if the research does no fit the current paradigm it is not accepted. So, I am having to go a bit 'off-piste' and do my research privately via a PhD registered in India. my study is going to be looking a the common trauma of everyday childhood experiences which, in some sensitive children, causes them to develop symptoms akin to PTSD. We don't have a name for this yet although common PTSD has been mooted by psychiatrists. I believe I am a someone who has this in my history, and it would explain a lot about my reactions to events in my life and my physical symptoms of Chronic Fatigue and depression. I would like to investigate this link by creating a questionnaire to be given to volunteers who suffer from any of the CFS style conditions including any sort of Chronic Pain (which has lasted for more than 3 months). I am developing the questionnaire at the moment. I am hoping to be ready to send this out to groups and individual by the end of May. I have set up a page on my website devoted to it to give potential respondents more information, If you know anyone who might be interested in taking part in the study please direct them to this page for more information.
So, at the end of the study I should have more information on what the common factors in the personal history of sufferers is. I will keep you updated as I develop this further.
So, at the end of the study I should have more information on what the common factors in the personal history of sufferers is. I will keep you updated as I develop this further.
Friday, 20 February 2015
Dissociation as a response to trauma
Whether one has suffered the trauma of abuse or the more cumulative low key trauma of rejection or poor parental attachment, dissociation is often the result. If the dissociation is very severe it may interfere with the person being able to inhabit their body and 'depersonalistion' is the term used. Whatever the diagnosis (and there are many in the latest psychiatrists' diagnostic manual the DSM-V), I aim to look at it as a survival technique rather than an illness. In therapy I am keen to help clients understand it as a clever way that the mind has devised of keeping them safe. This approach rather than being locked into inhabiting your diagnosis (I am dissociated, I have dissociative identity disorder DID) has the benefit of empowering the person rather than allowing them the sink into passivity..
People with this condition may well have always struggled with being social in larger groups and found that they retreated into their own quiet world to survive. Of course social anxiety is common, even among those of us who consider ourselves mentally well it is quite a stressful thing - it's just that most of us are clever at hiding it! For trauma sufferers it is completely intolerable. They cannot even work up the courage to walk into a room where there are large numbers of people...
The sad things is that with this degree of dissociation, the sufferer does not feel real in their body, and their interactions with others are superficial. One client told me the only reason she could come and see me is that I look like a 'cardboard cut-out' to her so she doesn't really believe I'm real either. I felt inclined to show her I have three dimensions and am as real as the chair she is sitting on but she doesn't believe that is real either so you can see that the perception of reality is altered and makes functioning extremely difficult.
However, it is important to feed back to these clients that the problem is in their perception, not the reality.. the reality is that their body still notices everything that happens to them, and responds to it. But they are simply not aware, the disconnection is between the sensation (and the feelings that these engender - usually fear) and the interpretation by the brain (meaning - e.g I am in danger). I always stress that the disconnection they feel is ultimately a safety valve for the feelings that have simply become intolerable. Particularly when the feelings are ones of rejection and humiliation (shame) from those who are meant to love you, those feelings are simply unacceptable and are disconnected from the mindbody completely.
So, when you understand the dissociation as a symptom of your experience (usually sensitised early in childhood to rejection and shame) and how then you have interpreted things, the labels no longer matter so much. They are just defences your mindbody has erected. They can be dismantled but very, very gently. This degree of spiritual disconnection from your own body cannot be solved easily.
The usual approaches to trauma, like EFT and EMDR are difficult to apply as the person is asked to concentrate on their feelings as a precursor to both techniques which is almost impossible for them. So, although I do use these, I have to allow the person to gain confidence in trusting their own body not to betray them first by
Finally, its worth noting the more naturopathic interpretation of this is that you have a deficiency of spleen energy - apparently there is a link between the spleen and rejection. See
People with this condition may well have always struggled with being social in larger groups and found that they retreated into their own quiet world to survive. Of course social anxiety is common, even among those of us who consider ourselves mentally well it is quite a stressful thing - it's just that most of us are clever at hiding it! For trauma sufferers it is completely intolerable. They cannot even work up the courage to walk into a room where there are large numbers of people...
The sad things is that with this degree of dissociation, the sufferer does not feel real in their body, and their interactions with others are superficial. One client told me the only reason she could come and see me is that I look like a 'cardboard cut-out' to her so she doesn't really believe I'm real either. I felt inclined to show her I have three dimensions and am as real as the chair she is sitting on but she doesn't believe that is real either so you can see that the perception of reality is altered and makes functioning extremely difficult.
However, it is important to feed back to these clients that the problem is in their perception, not the reality.. the reality is that their body still notices everything that happens to them, and responds to it. But they are simply not aware, the disconnection is between the sensation (and the feelings that these engender - usually fear) and the interpretation by the brain (meaning - e.g I am in danger). I always stress that the disconnection they feel is ultimately a safety valve for the feelings that have simply become intolerable. Particularly when the feelings are ones of rejection and humiliation (shame) from those who are meant to love you, those feelings are simply unacceptable and are disconnected from the mindbody completely.
So, when you understand the dissociation as a symptom of your experience (usually sensitised early in childhood to rejection and shame) and how then you have interpreted things, the labels no longer matter so much. They are just defences your mindbody has erected. They can be dismantled but very, very gently. This degree of spiritual disconnection from your own body cannot be solved easily.
The usual approaches to trauma, like EFT and EMDR are difficult to apply as the person is asked to concentrate on their feelings as a precursor to both techniques which is almost impossible for them. So, although I do use these, I have to allow the person to gain confidence in trusting their own body not to betray them first by
- psychoeducation
- bodywork
- pendulation
and Rob Williams.. They are a 2-lecture series on 'The biology and psychology of perception'. I hope you find they inspire you as they did me. Both men are respected in their individual fields, Bruce in particular is a cell biologist so nothing flaky there.. his book The Biology of Belief is required reading for anyone interested in the mindbody link.
Finally, its worth noting the more naturopathic interpretation of this is that you have a deficiency of spleen energy - apparently there is a link between the spleen and rejection. See
It may be a little too 'woo-woo' for some who reject the notion of meridians, but its written by Alison Adams who is a highly qualified UK dentist and now naturopath. Her website is full of nuggets of information. I am constantly amazed by how many conventionally trained doctors and other clinicians are finding truth and answers in the more esoteric fields of 'alternative' health.
Monday, 2 February 2015
The ups and the downs of ageing and selfhood
Having had a strange few days of highs and lows I have been pondering the nature of ageing and what it means to inhabit our bodies. My mother had some sort of heart arrhythmia a couple of weeks ago and has had a pacemaker fitted. I went to visit her for the first time yesterday (having not been well enough really to visit at the risk of passing on whatever flu bug I had). My mum is 81 and has previously been a healthy and active person, working one day a week in the local PDSA charity shop and visiting my brother every Saturday on the bus. I fear that may have come to an end.
She collapsed while having her hair done at the hairdressers, she doesn't remember passing out, she only knows she woke up in an ambulance. She was out for approximately 10 mins and they were worried they wouldn't be able to rouse her. She was then taken to hospital for assessment and endured what sounds like a typical A&E experience in this country, where she was left hooked up to a ECG machine on a trolley for 8 hours while they waited for a bed. She says all she had with her was her handbag and they had put her in a gown but not given her a blanket or drink until she begged the nurses saying how cold and thirsty she was. She says they looked annoyed when she asked (which mirrors my experience - they are all under such tremendous pressure with not enough staff that the basic kindnesses go out the window).
She had her pacemaker fitted the next day in what seems like a miracle procedure - local anaesthetic and inserted through the artery under her arm. She was discharged after 2 days and now has care from 2 lovely ladies who come morning and evening to help her dress. She seemed well enough when I saw her but she shows signs of having lost a lot of weight, she has lost the use of her left arm (which is her dominant hand) so is severely restricted in cooking and dressing. I was a little surprised by how quickly she has become 'old' and passive. She is scared of using the microwave in case it interferes with the device; the booklet she was given says she is not to get within 6 inches of microwaves or hairdryers so, my Mum being ever cautious, she goes out the room completely when the microwave is on and hasn't washed or dried her hair yet, preferring to use dry shampoo. She seems convinced that she can't use her arm, even though the advice was just to not to lift it above her head for a few weeks.
Nothing I say can convince her, she waits for the consultant appointment this week to tell her whether she can have her hair washed, risk walking, etc. Women of my mother's generation (and class I guess) are in awe of their doctors and their word is God. Anyway it was a mixture of relief (that she has survived with her humour intact) and exasperation that I attempted to help and be a good daughter. I did her hair for her. It was a strange but oddly healing experience. We've never had the greatest relationship but I am slowly building it, as she ages and I find more compassion in my heart for her strengths (famously dotty, genial and good natured) and try hard to ignore her weaknesses (lack of empathy for those closest to her, judgemental at times).
And in that reflection of course is the fact that, as I approach 51 (this week!!), I feel, well, surprisingly young in comparison! I had gone to visit feeling quite down about my approaching birthday but seeing her passivity and helplessness, I realise I am not there yet and still have a lot of living to do. We are all ageing and we are quite terrified if we're honest but as I continue to work with my clients and learn so much through the work we do together I realise that our fears are universal and very, very human.
I had a dispiriting Saturday exhibiting at a Wellbeing day where I sat, ignored for the most part, as people who read cards or palms, sold crystals or even, gasp, make-up were well attended. Working on your emotional health just isn't that high up the agenda for most people. They'd much rather have a foot-rub! Can't say I don't understand that but I kept feeling that wellness is so one-dimensional if all it means is attending to the physical needs of the body.. I mean I love massage, (and I do it for goodness sake) so I'm not denying the importance but I SO believe in this stuff that I do and I get such great results when people are able to release their subconscious fears and beliefs that I can't understand why everyone doesn't get this excited. :)
I did have one 'client' on the day - she was another therapist who was interested in trying a taster session of EFT as she'd heard of it but she couldn't think what we could work on as she'd 'sorted everything previously with other therapies'. I asked her 'is there anything troubling you?'. She said 'well only this nagging back pain' so we decided to work on that. Now, I use Faster EFT with a few extra touches of my own from my training in trauma and hypnotherapy, and it's quite a quick and incisive tool. In fact within minutes I had my poor lady in tears as she reconciled the fact of not loving or forgiving herself for stuff that happened to her in childhood. I had not expected to go so deep so quickly but then I am not in control of what comes up. All I can do is take the person into their own resourcefulness to counteract the pain and move them in and out of that experience very gently - what we call 'pendulation'. I hold the space and trust that their brain/mind will allow them to move through it. A feeling of safety is paramount and must be created beforehand.
I watched her face all the way throughout - the facial muscles and expressions are intimately connected with our emotions - via the vagal nerve - and are very instructive. Her face suddenly looked very scared and childlike. as we worked through what had come up and gradually defused the emotional charge, the adult began to creep back in. At the end of what had been perhaps 20 mins she asked me what I saw and I told her. She said it was very odd because that day she had grabbed a crystal to take with her (I don't know much about them myself but she was obviously convinced that their energy helps her); the one she had grabbed was for 'the inner child' apparently.
As we drew to a close and I asked her how she felt she said 'my back pain is gone' and looked astonished. This is no longer a surprise to me as it used to be. I now know that emotional stuckness can be expressed in bodily pain and it seems clear from the work I've done that the pain will often shift, or move or change its character in response to clearance of these old emotional memories. She walked away feeling and looking quite different. I don't know if she'll venture to come back and see me for a longer session - I can't control that but I know I did good work with her and I felt that my purpose for going that day had been realised. I then wondered as I looked at the young women handing out free lipstick whether they could say the same.
She collapsed while having her hair done at the hairdressers, she doesn't remember passing out, she only knows she woke up in an ambulance. She was out for approximately 10 mins and they were worried they wouldn't be able to rouse her. She was then taken to hospital for assessment and endured what sounds like a typical A&E experience in this country, where she was left hooked up to a ECG machine on a trolley for 8 hours while they waited for a bed. She says all she had with her was her handbag and they had put her in a gown but not given her a blanket or drink until she begged the nurses saying how cold and thirsty she was. She says they looked annoyed when she asked (which mirrors my experience - they are all under such tremendous pressure with not enough staff that the basic kindnesses go out the window).
She had her pacemaker fitted the next day in what seems like a miracle procedure - local anaesthetic and inserted through the artery under her arm. She was discharged after 2 days and now has care from 2 lovely ladies who come morning and evening to help her dress. She seemed well enough when I saw her but she shows signs of having lost a lot of weight, she has lost the use of her left arm (which is her dominant hand) so is severely restricted in cooking and dressing. I was a little surprised by how quickly she has become 'old' and passive. She is scared of using the microwave in case it interferes with the device; the booklet she was given says she is not to get within 6 inches of microwaves or hairdryers so, my Mum being ever cautious, she goes out the room completely when the microwave is on and hasn't washed or dried her hair yet, preferring to use dry shampoo. She seems convinced that she can't use her arm, even though the advice was just to not to lift it above her head for a few weeks.
Nothing I say can convince her, she waits for the consultant appointment this week to tell her whether she can have her hair washed, risk walking, etc. Women of my mother's generation (and class I guess) are in awe of their doctors and their word is God. Anyway it was a mixture of relief (that she has survived with her humour intact) and exasperation that I attempted to help and be a good daughter. I did her hair for her. It was a strange but oddly healing experience. We've never had the greatest relationship but I am slowly building it, as she ages and I find more compassion in my heart for her strengths (famously dotty, genial and good natured) and try hard to ignore her weaknesses (lack of empathy for those closest to her, judgemental at times).
And in that reflection of course is the fact that, as I approach 51 (this week!!), I feel, well, surprisingly young in comparison! I had gone to visit feeling quite down about my approaching birthday but seeing her passivity and helplessness, I realise I am not there yet and still have a lot of living to do. We are all ageing and we are quite terrified if we're honest but as I continue to work with my clients and learn so much through the work we do together I realise that our fears are universal and very, very human.
I had a dispiriting Saturday exhibiting at a Wellbeing day where I sat, ignored for the most part, as people who read cards or palms, sold crystals or even, gasp, make-up were well attended. Working on your emotional health just isn't that high up the agenda for most people. They'd much rather have a foot-rub! Can't say I don't understand that but I kept feeling that wellness is so one-dimensional if all it means is attending to the physical needs of the body.. I mean I love massage, (and I do it for goodness sake) so I'm not denying the importance but I SO believe in this stuff that I do and I get such great results when people are able to release their subconscious fears and beliefs that I can't understand why everyone doesn't get this excited. :)
I did have one 'client' on the day - she was another therapist who was interested in trying a taster session of EFT as she'd heard of it but she couldn't think what we could work on as she'd 'sorted everything previously with other therapies'. I asked her 'is there anything troubling you?'. She said 'well only this nagging back pain' so we decided to work on that. Now, I use Faster EFT with a few extra touches of my own from my training in trauma and hypnotherapy, and it's quite a quick and incisive tool. In fact within minutes I had my poor lady in tears as she reconciled the fact of not loving or forgiving herself for stuff that happened to her in childhood. I had not expected to go so deep so quickly but then I am not in control of what comes up. All I can do is take the person into their own resourcefulness to counteract the pain and move them in and out of that experience very gently - what we call 'pendulation'. I hold the space and trust that their brain/mind will allow them to move through it. A feeling of safety is paramount and must be created beforehand.
I watched her face all the way throughout - the facial muscles and expressions are intimately connected with our emotions - via the vagal nerve - and are very instructive. Her face suddenly looked very scared and childlike. as we worked through what had come up and gradually defused the emotional charge, the adult began to creep back in. At the end of what had been perhaps 20 mins she asked me what I saw and I told her. She said it was very odd because that day she had grabbed a crystal to take with her (I don't know much about them myself but she was obviously convinced that their energy helps her); the one she had grabbed was for 'the inner child' apparently.
As we drew to a close and I asked her how she felt she said 'my back pain is gone' and looked astonished. This is no longer a surprise to me as it used to be. I now know that emotional stuckness can be expressed in bodily pain and it seems clear from the work I've done that the pain will often shift, or move or change its character in response to clearance of these old emotional memories. She walked away feeling and looking quite different. I don't know if she'll venture to come back and see me for a longer session - I can't control that but I know I did good work with her and I felt that my purpose for going that day had been realised. I then wondered as I looked at the young women handing out free lipstick whether they could say the same.
Wednesday, 14 January 2015
Book writing news
Started my book-writing course (today) and although the title isn't fixed yet (something to do with Healing past trauma; how unresolved emotions undermine your health).. I've written some chapter headings and nearly 10,000 words. Of course since the first part of the book is my story (illustrating how even a 'normal' childhood can impact the adult experience of life), it's been reasonably easy to write (who can't write about themselves!). The next few chapters will use case studies to detail the myriad ways in which blocked emotions or trauma (even mild events can be traumatic to a sensitised person) can cause many chronic illnesses such as chronic fatigue, anxiety, and numbing. Finally I'll be looking at ways in which you can release these to live a more healthy, satisfying life.
Writing is always self-exposing but particularly when you are writing about your own experience and it has caused me some trepidation as many of the people I am writing about are still alive (my mother for instance). However, it's not a blame-game'. I'm very careful not to get into that with either my clients or myself. The point is; your experience is your experience - it's no-one's fault and the point of healing it is not to divert responsibility to someone else i.e 'it's their fault I ended up this way'. This is, instead, an honest account of how childhood events impact upon the adult by virtue of imprinting in the emotional brain (limbic system and brainstem). I think it's a fascinating area and explains why so many people have intractable pain and distress which does not respond to talk therapies (the origin of these emotions are pre-verbal memories which don't have a narrative). For instance when I had my tonsils out at age 7 or 8, the idea then was that parents did not stay with you overnight. They just left you there. The experience was extremely frightening for me as my parents in their wisdom didn't tell me till the day they dropped me off, AND, it was the first time I had ever been away from home without them. Hospitals have never been my favourite places (I get a weird anxious feeling in them) and now I know why.
I am boosted in my understanding by a new book hot off the press by Bessel Van der Kolk; 'The Body Keeps the Score'. What a great title. Honestly, it's almost the book I wanted to write although based on his clinical experience which is far greater than mine (he is a trauma specialist in NY). I can't recommend it highly enough if you are interested in this field as I am. it was released in 2014 so bang up to date.
Anyhow, the writing process is ongoing, the main thing is how to publish and in what format - digital or print? lots to learn so an exciting time. Of course I'm not sure anyone will want to read it, but hey, I am determine to be positive. You don't know til you try. Happy 2015 everyone.
Writing is always self-exposing but particularly when you are writing about your own experience and it has caused me some trepidation as many of the people I am writing about are still alive (my mother for instance). However, it's not a blame-game'. I'm very careful not to get into that with either my clients or myself. The point is; your experience is your experience - it's no-one's fault and the point of healing it is not to divert responsibility to someone else i.e 'it's their fault I ended up this way'. This is, instead, an honest account of how childhood events impact upon the adult by virtue of imprinting in the emotional brain (limbic system and brainstem). I think it's a fascinating area and explains why so many people have intractable pain and distress which does not respond to talk therapies (the origin of these emotions are pre-verbal memories which don't have a narrative). For instance when I had my tonsils out at age 7 or 8, the idea then was that parents did not stay with you overnight. They just left you there. The experience was extremely frightening for me as my parents in their wisdom didn't tell me till the day they dropped me off, AND, it was the first time I had ever been away from home without them. Hospitals have never been my favourite places (I get a weird anxious feeling in them) and now I know why.
I am boosted in my understanding by a new book hot off the press by Bessel Van der Kolk; 'The Body Keeps the Score'. What a great title. Honestly, it's almost the book I wanted to write although based on his clinical experience which is far greater than mine (he is a trauma specialist in NY). I can't recommend it highly enough if you are interested in this field as I am. it was released in 2014 so bang up to date.
Anyhow, the writing process is ongoing, the main thing is how to publish and in what format - digital or print? lots to learn so an exciting time. Of course I'm not sure anyone will want to read it, but hey, I am determine to be positive. You don't know til you try. Happy 2015 everyone.
Sunday, 21 December 2014
Dental troubles
What a few weeks it's been.
What should have been a simple dental restoration (a crown on a back molar) has turned into a major trauma...
After having my last upper molar on the left (UL6 for those geeks who really want to know) crowned a few weeks ago my life has been absolutely altered by excruciating muscle spasms in my neck and head, my sleep disrupted with tinnitus, buzzing and a horrible taste in my mouth ever present.
This first appeared after the temporary crown was fitted (plastic) but got much worse when the permanent (porcelain/metal) crown was put on.I thought at first I was rejecting the metal (I am highly metal sensitive - I can't wear earrings for instance). But after subsequent investigations by an osteopath, and 2 trips back to the dentist it appears to be more about misalignment of the teeth. If the bite is not meeting properly (malocclusion) then this appear to set all the bones of the cranium and jaw off. Then the muscles strain to bring everything back into alignment and if they can't do it they are in permanent strain which makes them spasm.
It seems this is all much worse if you grind your teeth at night (which apparently I do) - I have TMJ (temporomandibular joint) syndrome. I never realised this until now but waking up 2-3 times in the night with my mouth open and pain in my neck I realise that is what is happening. It appears that the jaw is grinding to try to realign the bite (which with natural teeth would happen as you would grind down any that are high). With a porcelain crown it is so hard that no amount of grinding will do that so it's a never ending cycle of pain and grinding. So you get pain transferring down the neck to the shoulders and up to the top of the head. I've had sinus infections, headaches and terrible neck pain and clunking. I can't believe such a tiny thing can cause so much pain.
I am about to go and get it readjusted again (the dentist gets you to bite and sees where it is not meeting properly then he grinds it down with a drill). This will be my second time. It's not fun, and it's been an absolute nightmare overall.. I would say to anyone considering a crown - check first if you have problems with TMJ syndrome) as you may need extra work before and after the treatment from an osteopath or craniosacral practitioner. I finally found some mention of why this might be on a great website that talks about the link between the teeth and the body. It helped explain to me why everything felt so 'off' and I felt so ill.
oddly though it has been an incredible learning experience - particularly as it brought back memories of being young and having so much dental surgery where I was anaethetised and had my tonsils and adenoids taken out. I swear I had one night where I relieved this surgery - like a waking dream. I think my mind was trying to exorcise the trauma of that event.. I had visions of people leaning over me - just shadows really and a dread fear. I know night-time is the worst for fear and worry but this was a different experience altogether. Quite out of body.
I will update when I have had another adjustment. I hope it is better..
What should have been a simple dental restoration (a crown on a back molar) has turned into a major trauma...
After having my last upper molar on the left (UL6 for those geeks who really want to know) crowned a few weeks ago my life has been absolutely altered by excruciating muscle spasms in my neck and head, my sleep disrupted with tinnitus, buzzing and a horrible taste in my mouth ever present.
This first appeared after the temporary crown was fitted (plastic) but got much worse when the permanent (porcelain/metal) crown was put on.I thought at first I was rejecting the metal (I am highly metal sensitive - I can't wear earrings for instance). But after subsequent investigations by an osteopath, and 2 trips back to the dentist it appears to be more about misalignment of the teeth. If the bite is not meeting properly (malocclusion) then this appear to set all the bones of the cranium and jaw off. Then the muscles strain to bring everything back into alignment and if they can't do it they are in permanent strain which makes them spasm.
It seems this is all much worse if you grind your teeth at night (which apparently I do) - I have TMJ (temporomandibular joint) syndrome. I never realised this until now but waking up 2-3 times in the night with my mouth open and pain in my neck I realise that is what is happening. It appears that the jaw is grinding to try to realign the bite (which with natural teeth would happen as you would grind down any that are high). With a porcelain crown it is so hard that no amount of grinding will do that so it's a never ending cycle of pain and grinding. So you get pain transferring down the neck to the shoulders and up to the top of the head. I've had sinus infections, headaches and terrible neck pain and clunking. I can't believe such a tiny thing can cause so much pain.
I am about to go and get it readjusted again (the dentist gets you to bite and sees where it is not meeting properly then he grinds it down with a drill). This will be my second time. It's not fun, and it's been an absolute nightmare overall.. I would say to anyone considering a crown - check first if you have problems with TMJ syndrome) as you may need extra work before and after the treatment from an osteopath or craniosacral practitioner. I finally found some mention of why this might be on a great website that talks about the link between the teeth and the body. It helped explain to me why everything felt so 'off' and I felt so ill.
oddly though it has been an incredible learning experience - particularly as it brought back memories of being young and having so much dental surgery where I was anaethetised and had my tonsils and adenoids taken out. I swear I had one night where I relieved this surgery - like a waking dream. I think my mind was trying to exorcise the trauma of that event.. I had visions of people leaning over me - just shadows really and a dread fear. I know night-time is the worst for fear and worry but this was a different experience altogether. Quite out of body.
I will update when I have had another adjustment. I hope it is better..
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